Monday, December 15, 2008

Top three coping method

1. Proactive coping

You can do something before the stressful events occur!
One can cope before stressful events take place, while it is happening or afterwards.
We can anticipate, prevent, or seek challenges. We can increase or invest our
personal, social resources effectively. We can not wait for the things happened, we
can make the things happen by our active effort.
Example for proactive coping
-preparing for an exam or an interview well in advance
-managing our time or relationship
-working out our plan or goal with commitment

Changing our attitude focusing the present or future events

2. Meaning making

You can do something even after the stressful events
Sometime changing the way we think, feel and act will help us to deal with our
stress. Reorganizing, reinterpreting, reframing, restructuring and looking for the
positive of stressful events are the ways to make meaning. many of the
psychotherapy aims at nothing but changing the way of thinking, feeling and
acting. Changing our self to fit into the unchangeable external reality is essential to
cope with it.
Example for the meaning making
We can take a new look make new meaning
Failure as a feedback
Change as a challenge
Obstacle as an opportunity

Changing our response to the past or present event

3. Religious coping

You can do something even in extreme stress
All religions offer a framework for understanding, interpreting and accepting our
stressful life events. When we encounter uncontrollable circumstances the only thing
we can do to comfort ourselves is to surrender to God, the almighty. This will give at
least the illusion of control over the situation. Positive religious coping is the only
way if all the coping methods failed. this method can give us a sense of relief and
peace in extremely uncontrollable stressful circumstances.
Example
Think how one can cope with these following situations!
Death of loved one
Life threatening, incurable illness such as cancer
Violence, terrorism
Transforming oneself beyond their own limits,To gain strength and acceptance

Top three protecting shield, that helps us to deal with our stress.

1. Personal development

How we relate with ourselves
Personal attributes such as self-esteem, self-worth, self-determinism, optimism,
hope and self-efficacy directly related to our stress. Personal development is the first
protecting shield from stress. We need to feel good about ourselves.

Take personal responsibility

2. Social development

How we relate with others
Our communication, relationships, giving receiving help and managing conflict
all requires honesty, genuineness, and mutual trust. We need other persons help and
support to cope with stress. This will be the second protecting shield that protects us from
stress.

Take social responsibility

3. Work or task

How we relate with our task or work
Only through our meaningful contribution or achievement we can believe
our ability, meaningful contribution and our achievements make us feel worthy,
boost our esteem. We may gain new friends others may appreciate accept and
respect us. We need to achieve, learn or contribute something. This is the third
protecting shield that helps us from stress.

Contribute something meaningfully

These three domains in our life serve as protecting shields which make a
difference in our life. If we learn to respond instead of reacting to our life events
we can gain something which will help us to transform our life greatly.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Three step coping process

     "Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule"-Buddha

          Our personal experiences can influence our perception, appraisal of the situation and coping strategies. Under stress we do not have much thoughtful to processing information as when our lives are calm. Changing the relational meaning of what is happening is a very powerful and widely employed device for regulating stress and feelings. Self-regulation consists of learning to delay action, being aware of both what one is feeling and thinking as well as how one is presenting oneself. Our responses to stressful events are the key to successful adaptation and personal growth. The first step to coping with our life events is to aware of our own habitual reaction to the situation. The second step is to assume responsibility to engage our thinking in helpful ways. Third step will be to choose our action in appropriate manner so that we can cope with it more constructively.

3 'A'-Aware, Assume responsibility, Act

constructive action will be, check it

What is lacking in you? Each area is important to handle life events
1. Knowledge- gathers relevant information 
2. Skills – acquire needed skills
3. Objectives- take a new look, make new meaning, have clear goal and plan
4. Practice – do the daily routine such as regular exercise diet, relaxation and carryout action towards the goal/plan  
5. Social support – give receive help from others, talk to someone you trust


stress software

  • blog I have found very useful related to stress coping.

    this blog contains nice informational videos, relationship advice, communication articles and stress management guidance.

        http://christian-life-coaching.blogspot.com/ 

  • This interactive software program provides information and self-assessments regarding stress and stress management. Written particularly for college and university audiences, and is also suitable the general public and for junior high and high schools. This program is free;

Download link:

http://www.ualberta.ca/afs/ualberta.ca/dept/health/public_ftp/windows/stress.zip 

  • Another intractive software shows how stress affects our body

please follow the link

http://www.apahelpcenter.org/anatomy/