self-regulation and stress

"He is able who thinks he is able."-Buddha

Source of our stress whatever it may be
Our own thoughts
Other person
Our situation or condition
We have a power of choice to choose our response to it.
Our personal control and self regulation play a major role in how we handle our own stressful situation. Personal control is the perception that one has the ability, resources or opportunities to get positive outcomes or avoid negative effects through one’s own actions. Control refers to the ability to monitor and inhibit one’s own emotions, thoughts and behaviour. Perceived control is associated with emotional wellbeing, reduced physiological impact of stressors, enhanced ability to cope with stress, improved performance, less pain and a greater likelihood of making difficult behaviour changes. The self-regulation of human behavior involves setting goals, and monitoring and evaluating behavior and thoughts. An attempt is made to reduce discrepancies between standards and behavior. Ultimately self-regulation cannot succeed unless it is successful both at monitoring the state in relation to the goal and at making the changes and adjustments as desired. Goal setting is an integral component of self-regulation. Effective goal setting requires that people set a long-term goal, break it into short-term, attainable sub-goals, monitor progress and assess capabilities, adjust the strategy and goal as needed, and set a new goal when the present one is attained. This multi-step plan is a key to promoting healthier human functioning, higher motivation and perceived self-efficacy, and self-regulated learning and performance across the life span. If goals have been achieved, a person may engage in reinforcing thoughts and/or activities (self-reinforcement). Problems in the self-regulation of behavior or thoughts may result in distress. It may be that goals are set at levels that are too high or at levels that an individual does not believe he or she is capable of achieving. Set specific goal, generate more alternate ways to achieve, believe we have a choice and monitor your progress to avoid distress.

Stress and suicide

“Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.”

Studies have shown that suicides are found to have experienced higher levels of stressful events in the past year than non suicidal individuals. Stressors experienced by adolescent and young adult suicides tend more often to involve negative interpersonal events, such as friction and break-ups with loved ones and problems involving work, finances, and the criminal justice system. In contrast, stressors of elderly suicides tend more often to involve medical problems and intrapsychic states such as depression. These differences by age are found both in psychological autopsy studies and in content analyses of suicide notes Suicidal ideation in college students was positively associated with self ratings of negative life events in the past year. Don’t ignore your stress get help if you cross your optimum level of stress. 
Signals to look for:
1. Withdrawn behaviour. Inability to relate to family and friends.

2. Psychiatric illness

3. Alcoholism

4. Anxiety or panic

5. Change in personality – irritability, pessimism, depression, apathy

6. Change in eating habits / sleeping habits

7. Earlier suicide attempt

8. Hating oneself, feeling guilty, worthless or ashamed

9. A recent major loss – death, divorce, separation etc

10. Family history of suicide

11. Sudden desire to tidy up one’s affairs – writing a will etc.

12. Feeling of loneliness, helplessness, hopelessness

13. Suicide notes

14. Physical ill helth

15. Repeated mention of death/ suicide

Beating stress by preparing for it

"Pain is inevitable but suffering is our option"

Unpredictable, unexpected events are more stressful than predictable, expected events. We can reduce our stress by preparing in advance. Increase our awareness in the following areas will be helpful to you
1. Self- personal
2. Others- interpersonal
3. Your condition- life situations

4. External environment – government policies, economic situations, etc.

First identify what is changeable and unchangeable in the above four areas then focus your attention in the changeable one, which will help you to reduce the uncertainty. Remember the old sayings 

6 ‘p’ formula  
Proper 
Prior 
Planning 
Prevent 
Poor 
Performance

Ask four questions periodically

1. What are your upcoming challenges?
2. How you are going to (cope) handle?
3. What are all the personal resources you have?
4. What are all the social resources you have?

you are the master of your own, these four quetion appears to be simple but very powerful because it determine your action.

Workout on your own