"Circumstance does not make the man; it reveals him to himself" - James Allen
Mostly not the event itself but our distressing emotions such as anger, fear, worry or shame/guilt make us feel worst and cause ineffective handling of the situations. Primarily stress coping attempt to coping with our own distressing emotions. There is an inverse relationship between our rational thinking and distressing emotions. When we are stressful our thinking will be very narrow.
Feel about “love” - passionately
Think about “love” – rationally
You can feel the difference between the two
Our appraisal plays a major role that determines our emotional experiences. Reappraisal decreases negative emotions. Under stress there is a overlap between positive and negative emotion which in turn we confused about our feelings and problems. We can see in our every day lives, If someone under stress, is confused the other person help him/her to take decision but the other person have such type of problem he also turn others to help to take decision. This is because present and absents of distressing emotions.
Person who are emotionally intelligent will perceive and appraise their emotional states and know how and when to express their feelings. These competencies help him to cope up successfully with his stress.
Emotional intelligence/ competence/ maturity is nothing but
Understand, manage and control our own emotions
Understand, manage and control others emotion
The good news is we can learn to control our emotions. The bad news is our innate fighting urge and unconscious impulsive reactions prevent us from controlling our emotions.