When I interact with people during my awareness programme, workshops, I have found many people are not ready to invest time to think about the way they think. Most of them are not aware of their own feelings and actions. Without knowing where we are going, what we are doing, we will not get what we want.
We think erroneously - lack of thinking skills
We feel out of control - poor emotional regulation
We act impulsively - poor self-regulated behaviour
Consider this analogy, our behaviour is like a triggering a gun, our thinking is a bullet, our feeling is loading a gun with bullet. We ourselves or others may trigger the gun either intentionally or unintentionally, can we control after that? There will be no harm if we remove the bullet from the gun before it trigger.
Most of the counseling techniques especially cognitive behaviour therapy focuses on how one think, feel and act. Through proper training we can learn to think constructively, learn to control our unwanted, distressing emotion and we can control impulsive, maladaptive behaviours.